Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur We have collected the best funny puns along with jokes – all type of jokes! A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat! A: A fruit roll up. A: Fucking hot! A: You can go to sleep with a light on! Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? If my wife finds out, she'll f**king kill me. Q: What's even better than winning the Special Olympics Q: What does a rubix cube and a Penis have in common? Q: Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off? Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? Q: What did one broke hooker ask the other? A fake name and a fake number. We organized the jokes by type and age. What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? Black people fairy tales: Yall motherfuc*as ain't believe dis' shit! Q: Why is Santa so jolly? Q: How is pubic hair like parsley? Q: Who was the worlds first carpenter? A: They don't have balls to scratch. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. There are two types of people in the world. Q: What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man? Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A: 2 Bullets Q: Why was six afraid of seven? Skirts go up. Q: What's the difference between being hungry and horny? A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken Q: Whats the hardest part of rollerblading? A: Give him a knife and say "Who's special?" A: They like the part where the prostitute gives the money back. Q: What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? Q: Why Are crippled people always picked on? Q: Who was the most well known Jewish cook? Dunno what this WiFi dude did. Q: But do you know what 6.9 is? A: Line dancing at a nusing home. Q. A: The wheelchair! Q: What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? She said I ruined her birthday. Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? Q: Why did God give men penises? A: The more you play with it the harder it gets. A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? A: You suck on his dick until he cums back. Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? eventually went home! Q: What's the difference between love and herpes? Girl: My favorite number is 16 A pervert walks over to this sorority girl, he said "Bend over and spell run." Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Q: What do u call hooker that likes it in her ass? A: Call B52 A: They don't want to wear out the camel. A: When he eats his first Brownie. Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? Q: Why don't black people go on cruises? Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a chicken? A: They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out. A: Eve, because she made Adams banana stand A: Because he has holes in his hands. Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? A: a rip off If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off? A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards. Q: What kind of bees produce milk? Q: What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? Q: What is the leading cause of death with lesbians? A: Piccassole One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." A: Not being a retard. Q: What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit? This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting. A: Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12  Q: What do you call a Muslim stripper? A: IHOP! Q: What did Boy George say to Micheal Jackson? A: "Is it in?" Q: What do you call a Spanish chick with no legs? Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey? A: Good morning ladies. Q: Why do they call it PMS? Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: Because they had reservations. A: Two flies in a bottle. A: Alcoholism. A: Shoot him in the face! I was born to be a pessimist. A: Tai Nee Q: Why did the snowman smile? Q. Q: What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar? A: Because North Korean long-range missiles can't go that far. I'm sorry my dollar is not straight enough for you. There is a high chance you are looking for extremely fun jokes to share with your friends and family. Q: What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer? Q. Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop" A: Because the snowblower is coming. What did the elephant say to a naked man? Q: How did you get a fat chick into bed? A: So women can moan even when they're happy Do you know a funny one liner? Q: What do you call two fat people talking? A: A dick in your mouth! A: Slow down. The blonde replies, "Oh my God! All sorted from the best by our visitors. A: Don't make me cum in there. Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls? A: Because their plugged into a genius! A: a Selfie! A: Rai Ping Yu Happy New Year Jokes, Riddles, and One-liners for HNY 2021. A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed. But it needs more work Panties go down. Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: He joined the que que que. A: Anything you want. Q: What do pimps and farmers have in common? Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? Q: What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut? It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket. It’s much harder to come up with clever and clean one-liners. A: Why are YOU shaking? Three feet of my cock up your ass. A: Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there. Q: What's the difference between a hair stylist and a nail stylist? A: If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they. Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Drinking Licking sucking fucking and wanking. With celebration comes great laughs. A: A wet nose. Belly to belly. A: By becoming a ventriloquist! A: You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball! Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? Q: How many parrots can you fit down a man's pants? A: You would be all right. Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Crabs on your organ. A: A white owl says, "hoot, hoot" a black owl says, "who dat, who dat" A: Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture. Vending machines are so homophobic. You have come to the perfect place. How many is a brazilian?" Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A: Depends on the length of the perch. Q: How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100? A: She could taste the blood on her son's dick! Q: What is the metric equivalent of 69? My blood type is B Negative. A: Seizure Salad Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The perverted guy said "As far as I can go." Q: How do they say "fuck you" in Los Angeles? We love short and clean jokes. A: Wave to them! A: Your job still sucks! A: At least a zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums on your face! Have you heard of the new movie called "Constipation"? A: He could read lips! A: A cherry float. Girl: "Hey, what's up?" Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Q: What's the difference between onions and prostitutes? A: The line for the new Call of Duty game. A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Q: How do you rape a camel? Q: Whats long and hard and has cum in it? Q: What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? Q: What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a pool? This list is bound to make you laugh…or at the very least smile! Q: Why are most Guidos named Tony? Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. You’ll find funny, family-friendly jokes, riddles, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, puns, videos, and things we think are worth sharing with other parents. A: A good thing screwed up by a period. Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A: Marijuana Q: What would happen if you cut off your left side? A: A bucking horse. Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road? Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? A: a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her. Jokes of the Day for February 23rd 2021. A: Michael Jackson Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? A: Bengay. Q: What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine? Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? ("Been gay.") A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns A: Dude, your dick is hanging out. It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. A: The back of my hand. A: They already fell for that trick once. Nuts are round. Q: What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? A: A blond electrician. These funny kid-friendly jokes will make your family laugh on New Year's Eve. A: Cuntswaylow A: You push it to the side before you start eating. Q: What do Instagram models eat? The bartender says “We don’t serve food!” The hamburger says “That’s OK I just want a drink. A: Because she didn't declare all her "gross" income. Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? A: 1 ate 1. A: To separate the hairy from the dairy. Q: Why can't Jesus eat m&m's? Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? A: The NBA. Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is? How many guys can participate in a gang bang before it's gay? Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection. A: a $100 bill! A: I want you inside me! And possibly use a lubricant. A: ........... a shit (think about it) Q: Why did Pizza Hut stop delivering pizza to the ghetto? A: The PGA tour. A: Because the 'p' is silent Q: Why was two piece swimsuit invented? Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A: The swallow. A: Cause life fucks us all. A: a cucumber Q. Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in. A bandleader fucks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers. It sucks to be a penis because your roommates are nuts, your neighbor is an ass hole, your best friend is a pussy, and your owner strangles you every night until you throw up! Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? A: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you. A: a Selfie! Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Fun Kids Jokes was created by parents as a safe place for other parents and their children to find something funny to giggle at. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Be ready to get some hilarious New Year Jokes and One-liners. Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? A: Wiped his ass. Q: Why did the Indians come to America first? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can. We did our best to bring you only the best ones. Enjoy and share your favorites with family and friends! Here you’ll find drinking jokes and one liners. A: Her navel. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Q: Why is the IRS going after Stormy Daniels? Q: Whats black and eats pussy? These un-fore-gettable puns, one-liners, and jokes will have you rolling on the green between putts and can ease the pain of a bad round. A: Vomit A: Because seven was a registered six offender. A: 7 Up in cider. Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A: Dress her up as an alter boy. Q: What's the difference between a redneck and poor white trash? I wish I had parents like Dora. A: Virgin Mobile A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A: Ate something Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: It scares the shit out of their dogs! Why is it called "taking a dump" when you are leaving one! A: Give him a knife and say "Who's special?" A: 69 with three people watching Q: How do you eat a squirrel? Q: What did the bra say to the hat? Never mind, you won't get it." Scientists say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches. Followed by a global food shortage. Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? A: Put a sign up that says "no nudity" Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby. When Hugh Hefner dies, will he really be going to a better place? New Year’s Resolutions: In one year and out the other. A: Because you get eight twice! A: Eggs get laid and you don't A: Finding a box of tissues next to it. A: Herpes. A: A Chinese telephone.... "Wing wing alo?" Q: How do you kill a retard? if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); New Years One-Liners. Q: What do you call Iron Man without his suit? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak. Q: How do you make a pool table laugh? A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." A: Your mom can't take a joke. Hilarious joke of the Day, humor stories and best comedy one-liners for kids and adults to laugh. A: She couldn't get her tongue back in her mouth for a month!
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